By Kaity Audick,
Staff Writer

150 Stolen Ferrets

Fourteen boxes of imported ferrets were stolen from the back of a veterinary truck in Mexico City. The truck was ambushed right after it had left the airport and the three robbers took 150 ferrets by force. The ferret bandits then proceeded to lead the police on a high speed chase before they lost control of the vehicle and crashed into a tree. All three suspects fled but two were later recaptured and brought in for questioning. All of the ferrets were returned completely unharmed to the veterinarian who had originally purchased them. Investigators are still baffled why the ferrets were stolen in the first place.

Discrimination Against the Useless

When employer Nicole Mamo put up an advertisement stating that she was looking to hire new hospital workers, she wrote what she thought was an appropriate and reasonable request. She was very surprised to find out that the advertisement firm was refusing to post it after accusing her of being “discriminatory.” Shocked by the harsh accusation, Mamo inquired to what exactly was inappropriate. The last sentence of her actual written request was, “Must be very reliable, and hard working,” which the ad firm declared would be discriminatory and offensive to “unreliable” people and that Mamo could be sued for doing so. A member of the Campaign Against Political Correctness stated: “This is absolutely ridiculous. Of course people want reliable workers and employers should be able to ask for them.”

Jello Shots for Minors

Bartenders from the Union Bar in Iowa were brought to court for selling alcohol to minors. The co-owner of the bar, George Wittgraf III was furious when accused of the illegal activity. When police presented that they had documented proof that the bar had sold Jello Vodka Shots to the minors, Wittgraf and his lawyer thought they had a scapegoat. The accused claimed they cannot be sued because Jello is not an “alcoholic beverage” but a food, since it is solid. It is now under debate whether or not laws everywhere will have to be changed to include the gelatinous alcohol.